 The Cogs of Justice -Alex Farr So I got a ticket from the highway patrol, on the city streets. Rumor has always had it that local cops had no jurisdiction on the state highways, and that the state police had no jurisdiction on the city streets. I guess the state changed its mind, and decided they wanted to tap some of the fine revenue possibilites of city traffic. As if there aren't enough people speeding or driving recklessly on the highways. So, first thing, I mentioned the no proof of registration or insurance to the cab office. The girl in the office in the evening did have the key to the paperwork vault, and she was even willing to fetch the paperwork for me. It was very sweet of her, in a sort of doing-her-job kind of way... which is actually painfully uncommon at the cab office where I work. most anyone else at the place would've required a "tip" (bribe) to actually do their work. Unfortunately, when I looked at the paperwork, I noticed that the proof of registration didn't actually begin for another 2 weeks. "Uhh, Pinky... the ticket's for the 14th, the registration doesn't begin until the 30th." I told her. Then I handed it through the gap in the bulletproof plastic so she could double check it. After a moment to think it over, she just shrugged. "That's all we have." I just nodded. What could I do. "Well then, I'm gonna tell the judge that, and that it isn't my car... and let him do as he will. Hopefully the state'll impound it..." I told her, chuckling. She giggled a little herself, hell... it wasn't her car either. So I made copies of the paperwork, such as it was... and just went on with my life. It took about a week for me to get my courtesy notice in the mail. It listed the violation as having occurred on W/B Telegraph@31st St. ? I laughed out loud... since Telegraph runs North to South. I double checked my little yellow ticket, and found that it said the violation had occurred on N/B Telegraph@31st St. I laughed some more... since it'd actually occurred at S/B Telegraph@30th St. Suddenly, I felt like I couldn't lose. I had a signed statement from my fare at the time, stating that I'd made a left from the left turn lane, which would make it a legal turn. I had my waybill showing that I wouldn't be travelling N/B, but S/B... which, adding to the W/B nonsense would be more than enough to start the officer looking confused, and once combined with the signed statement, would make any reasonable judge have to dismiss the whole thing.
Of course, reasonable is not a term often used to describe traffic court judges. So I got an extension, to give me time to take photos too, which I could use to illustrate my points, and hopefully enhance the confusion of Mr. Service and Protection, and to factor in my innate laziness when it comes to wasting my time with stupid shit that I shouldn't have to deal with anyway. Eventually though, my court date came around. I showed up at 7:15 to wait in line for the 8:00 walk-in trial registration. I was something like 8th in the line, but once arraignment finally rolled around, at 10:00, I waited, and I waited, and I waited... I was smething like 6th from the last. Which would make me about 43rd on the docket for the day. By the time I was finally up in front of the judge I was numb with the stupidity around me. I was stupid myself by that point. So I pleaded Not Guilty to the illegal turn charge, and presented the paperwork the cab company had provided me with. Needless to say, the judge was not impressed by the incorrect date on the registration paperwork... though he was willing to dismiss the proof of insurance charge. When I asked him if there was anyway to just go ahead and re-direct the no proof of registration charge to the legal owners of the vehicle, i.e. the cab company, and explained how I'd asked for the paperwork and was told that it was not available, he just looked at me like he'd once been a cop... and said I'd have to deal with that at the trial date he was gonna set me up with. Putting aside all the profanity running through my head, I also managed to civilly ask the judge about the signed statement of my fare. I wanted to be sure that it would be admissible, and acceptable, and all that. He looked at me like he had once been a cop, again. "I don't understand." he answered... which would actually be a huge admission from a cop, so I guess I should give him some credit. So I broke into explaining. I told him how I'd had a fare in the car at the time, and how she'd signed a statement to the effect that I had in fact made the left turn from the turn lane. I told him how the cop had blown his description of the location of the citation. I told him that the cop was a fool, and I just wanted to be sure that a judge wouldn't have a problem with looking at a signed statement from a witness who was present at the time, which said as much. He just shook his head. "A signed statement is hearsay." he told me, as if frustrated that I might try to get away with presenting the truth without having duly gone through the process of wasting the time of a person who might wish to share that truth. It wasn't enough that I had had to take the day off work to wait for hours for my 3 minutes of his time, or that I was gonna have to take another day off work to wait hours for my 5 minutes of another judge's, as well as the cop's, precious time... I would have to also convince some poor woman who'd just wanted a ride to a doctor's appointment to take hours out of her life to tell the court that the cop was an idiot. It was ludicrous. It was outrageous. "So, what... am I gonna have to subpeona the poor lady?" I asked the judge. He apparently decided he could invoke the fifth amendment as surely as I, because he refused to answer me. He was willing to point out that the error on the courtesy notice was probably just a typo on some clerk's part, and was of no real consequence to the case. I just shook my head, and asked him how I went about starting the process of subpeonaing some poor innocent woman in order to prove that I didn't do whatever it is that some senile before his time CHP cop arbitrarily decided to cite me for. I got my paperwork, and then went across the street to get the paperwork for the subpeona. I hated to do it, but it was her or me. And, just as an added perk, the court was going to have to provide a translator for her... unless they just wanted to rely on my translations. Of course, when I finally got the paperwork, and read through it, I suddenly realized that I was gonna have to serve the subpeona myself. Or hire a process server to do it for me. Or, my last option would be to just call her myself, and see if I could bribe her to take some time out of her life to go to court. It takes money to get justice all right. Then again, what the hell... I'd rather she had my money than the fucking court system. The worst part though, is that I've gotta go through
all this hassle... over a $5 fare! I wish I would've just succumbed, fallen
asleep, and she would've gone to the next cab in the line up...
Now I was caught up in, and being ground up by, the Cogs of Justice. Joy.
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